Hello fellow readers.

It has been a hot minute I guess you could say…… and WOW. My life has a been a whirlwind the past couple of months since I last posted!!! Lots has changed from what I thought my life would be to where I am now. I can honestly say it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Let me just give you a run down…

So, in late March I was dating this “boy”. This boy and I were together for a year and I THOUGHT I was content with my life. Bet you can’t guess what’s next!!!

YES, we did indeed break up. Tragic love story right? Well let me tell you, that’s only the beginning.

This boy had played such a big role in my life from when I transferred schools my junior year. He was my go to, someone I could always rely on when I needed it, and a shoulder to cry on (literally). However, I wasn’t happy with my life and where it was going, and I know I needed to do something about that situation. I did end up breaking things off him in hopes that we would both grow and mature and be ready for wherever life takes us. Where life took me at first is not what I’d call growing and maturing.

In the midst of this breakup, I stopped eating, lost about 10 pounds (10 pounds that I definitely can’t give up), and just took a dark path. I started making some bad decisions that seemed good at the time, rushing into things that I shouldn’t have been, and felt myself drowning in my own self pity.  I felt like I was worthless to mostly everyone and everything, hitting my ultimate rock bottom.

As I was walking through the halls one day of my school, I kept noticing that the word persevere stuck out like a sore thumb. This was really weird to me, because that word has always been sacred to me when I race and that would always be my motto to just keep going, and good things would come. I then went to my bible and started doing some bible journaling to clear my head, and realized that in Hebrews 12:1-2, it says,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” 

This definitely hit home because all my life, I have been running in the wrong direction. I was trying to persevere in everything EXCEPT God. I had been trying to run every which way in hopes that I wouldn’t bump into something that would make me feel guilty about how I was living my life. Everything that was hindering in my life, I felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone in that matter. I was entangled in my own fears and guilt in what I had done. My lenses of life weren’t fixed on Jesus, but in fact unfocused and distorted in all sorts of ways.

I figured out through harder times the ONLY way that you’re going to feel renewed and joyful is by hindering my sin that is so easily entangled, fixing myself on Jesus, and of course running with perseverance.

I like to think of running with perseverance as a metaphor:

Running without purpose is a hard task to handle. You will want to fall back, stop a mile sooner than planned, and convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing. With Jesus however, is like running with a team. Your team is dependable, trustworthy, pushes you to your absolute limits, and will love you no matter if you run poorly or if you run your peak performance. They will always be there for you to reduce your times, run the extra miles, and tell you that YOU CAN DO IT, that they believe in you!!! That is so important in life to have, I can’t even express it into words.

As I realized this in life, and I continue to do today, I can guarantee I have never been happier in my life. I have the best boyfriend a girl can ask for, and I am so thankful that he has stuck with me through all of the instances that have occurred during the rough points in my life. Without his unconditional love and support, I don’t know where I’d be today.

In order to find true fulfillment in life, you need to pay attention to what God is trying to tell you. Don’t try to hide away from your “calling”, because it will eventually catch up to you sooner or later. Always persevere through the hard times, and always know that there is a team on your back, cheering you on until you hit the finish line.